


Your Hand to Hold

by lamella



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Cohabitation, Established Relationship, Handholding, M/M, insert its about the hands meme, this is Soft Folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 09:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20356498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamella/pseuds/lamella
Summary: Jon finds Martin's hands very nice.





	Your Hand to Hold

His hands aren’t soft.

Jon would have expected that, if he’d bothered to think about it at all. Everything about Martin is soft edges and rounded corners, worn and comfortable like the pages of an old paperback. It’d only make sense for his hands to be the same way.

(He did think about it, what taking that hand in his would feel like. More than he’ll admit even to himself.)

Martin’s hands are big and square, with broad palms and bitten down nails. The first knuckle on his middle finger has a pronounced bump from how he holds a pen. They’re not beautiful in a traditional sense, but Jon adores them. Practical hands, hands make for using and building and holding.

Martin is gentle the first time he takes Jon’s hand, his touch cautious until Jon grabs on tighter. It’s startling how fragile his own hand looks in Martin’s, thinner and smaller and very very breakable.

Their hands swing between them, fingers laced and Jon’s arm bent slightly to accommodate for the height difference. Martin occasionally sweeps his thumb back and forth against the side of Jon’s pointer finger like a mindless little blessing. When he gives a quick little squeeze, Jon squeezes back, and they get so competitive in trading pulses of affection that they wind up holding each other so tightly their knuckles turn white. Martin breaks the cycle with a laugh, and apologizes for being so silly, but he doesn’t let go until Jon does.

Things shift, after that, and Martin’s more careless with his kind touches. They hold hands again, yes, and it feeds some warm gnawing pit in Jon’s stomach, starved of affection and attention. He starts resting a hand on Jon’s shoulder when he walks by or brings tea, though, starts leaning forwards when they talk to brush the overlong hair out of his eyes with a fond smile. Martin’s hands are always so gentle, when he touches Jon, never harsh or pushing past his boundaries.

Hundreds of little touches slowly grow into something more substantial, or at least something more obvious. Little kisses, dropped onto Jon’s cheeks and forehead and even into his hair if he’s hunched over his desk at the right time. Martin lifting an arm so Jon can tuck himself under it if they’re sitting together, and Jon revels in the chance to lean against Martin’s warm, solid bulk. Martin’s always touching him, still, but new things work their way into his repertoire. He starts brushing his thumb over Jon’s cheek before leaving a chaste kiss in it’s warm path, drawing faint circles with his fingertips on any convenient spot when he’s holding Jon. He’s still amazingly, endlessly gentle.

Jon’s a small man, short and painfully skinny. He’s still a fully grown adult, although Martin doesn’t seem to notice the weight. When he hugs him, sometimes Jon ends up with his toes hovering off the ground. He experiments with lifting his feet up entirely, and Martin doesn’t really notice until he nearly drops him. Something in Jon finds it very nice to know his boyfriend can pick him up. It’s even nicer when Martin does pick him up, cradles him close to his chest and brings him to bed or to the cot in the archives, always moving carefully and quietly to avoid waking him up. Jon’s a light sleeper, but he fakes it just for the experience. Martin always sets him down gently and makes sure he’s in a comfortable position, pulls a blanket over him and runs a gentle touch over his face. Sometimes it’s a brush of fingertips over his forehead, smoothing back hair. Sometimes it’s a hand on his jaw and a slightly calloused thumb running under his eye and over his cheekbone, or gentle circling pressure between his eyebrows like Martin can erase that deep stress wrinkle. Once, it’s even a light double tap on his nose. No matter what little touch Martin bestows upon him, it’s always followed up with a gentle kiss against his forehead or temple and a soft, “Sleep well, Jon.”

He’s never been a physically affectionate person, but Jon finds himself trying to reciprocate all of Martin’s fond touches. His hands linger a little longer than necessary when he passes Martin a paper or takes a cup from him. He leans into hugs a little deeper and a little longer, turns his cheek into the little kisses Martin gives him. It’s how they kiss for the first time, actually. Martin’s going in to kiss him and Jon turns his face to make it easier but Martin’s already moved far enough that instead of his cheek, his lips land on the corner of his mouth. It’s chaste, just a dry press before Martin’s jerking away with a stuttering apology. Jon reassures him, starting at Martin’s mouth a little longer than appropriate and flicking his tongue his own chapped lips.

He takes a deep breath and asks Martin if he can kiss him again, properly, and Martin nods. Jon takes a deep breath and leans in to kiss Martin. It’s a little awkward, at first, their noses bumping uncomfortably before Martin brings his hand up to Jon’s face and tilts his head gently, just enough so it’s comfortable. The kiss is gentle and mind-bending and over within 5 seconds. When Jon rocks back onto his heels and is back to his normal height, Martin rests his forehead against Jon’s and lets out a faint laugh. “I’ve wanted to do that for years.”

Their relationship progresses slowly when it comes to touch, but they fall into domesticity absurdly quickly. Jon’s better at showing affection with that. He’ll do the chores Martin dislikes, or makes sure they have time to spend together, even if it’s just both of them reading on the couch. He spends the first few times in Martin’s flat snooping around his kitchen when Martin isn’t paying attention, just to make sure he knows what Martin prefers so he can stock his own kitchen. He starts accommodating Martin’s preferences in other ways, and his attention to detail is rewarded when Martin’s things start migrating into his home and eventually they’re living together, no fanfare required. He just leaves an extra key on the table as he’s leaving for work one day and never asks for it back.

A routine of affection forms before Jon thinks to look for it. Slow, sleepy kisses in the morning, both of them sluggish and warm from sleep, Jon curling closer into Martin, who makes a point of jamming his cold feet against Jon’s shins when he wants to get up. Little touches as they get ready, a hand resting against a waist for a moment or a bump of their shoulders as they drink their morning coffee. When Jon gets home, late more often than not, Martin rolls his eyes and kisses him soft and deep. Martin cooks and Jon does the dishes and then they go to sit down on the couch and read or watch whatever’s on, Jon sprawled over Martin and Martin’s arms thrown over him. Sometimes, Martin notices how physically tense Jon is and makes concerned noises while rubbing out the knot, hands firm and sure over his neck or shoulders until Jon’s limp enough to be a rag doll.

Massages aren’t the best thing Jon gets out of their cohabitation, though. He gets to watch Martin do a dozen little daily tasks, strong broad hands quick and efficient as he chops vegetables and folds laundry. He takes them in passing, sometimes, grabs Martin’s hand and presses a kiss to his knuckles. Sometimes dozens of quick little pecks, to make Martin laugh, a smile and a blush spreading over his face. He’s still so gentle, when he pulls his hand out of Jon’s grasp to continue whatever he’s doing. It’s not timidness anymore, but it still makes Jon feel tender and safe.

Not like nothing bad can ever happen, but like when it does, they’ll weather it, build a shelter in the storm and ride it out together.

**Author's Note:**

> was I pining? yes. But did I project that desire onto Jon and Martin? also yes.
> 
> Come bug me on tumblr @lamellas!


End file.
